tout que j'entends est bruit

Hello my loves,

After a week in Mexico, I find myself torn and desperately seeking who i have become and who i am wanting to be. Have you ever found yourself whole heartedly wanting to be apart of something of this world? The affection and attention of friends? or perhaps it was the image a set of friends has set around us? Lately I find myself really struggling with what defines a harmful influence of the world on my life and my being to the point of idolatry and the blurred line of where that love and passion for certain things within the world are in fact another way for the Lord to call and work with those passions. Let me explain. All of my life, I have been so enthralled with fashion. i love wearing pieces that exemplify a love for individuality and expression of passion in a way that is visible. Then I was told I was extremely materialistic for wanting such clothing for being so involved in an industry that was solely focused on the outside appearance of others and of myself. But my heart pursued. Everything in me tried to just wear sweats and not comb my hair, not wear makeup, be "natural" in pursuit of the God that loved me "just as i was." But that in itself was an image. As I grew into this pursuit of God and pursuit of a passion that I felt for years, I began to DESPERATELY seek God. I didn't understand why i still loved fashion and what it entailed until this year. (and not saying i fully understand it, but God is definately showing me that it is a passion that is aiding in his service and is revealing that to me slowly). through my love of clothing, and the people that were seemingly drawn to that style of clothing and scene were not necesarily the first to be Christians. As girls would come up to me with friends at a fashion event and dance night, they would begin talking about my clothes and what i seemed to be like, and every single time it lead to me being able to talk to them about where i went to school and how great is was to be a Christian in search of God and being able to still go out, get dressed up, have fun, and meet people from all over. The first response is usually, "wait, YOU are a Christian?" and usually i dont know if that is a compliment or an insult, but it leads to them seeing that Christ can be within the world and within the love of music, of fellowship, and of people regardless of the image they produce. you want to not wear shoes? great, love God with all your heart and show that it more than just your desire to reach him in a look. you want to wear all mac make up and stilletos? great, love God with all your heart and be comfortable enough to not need that as a necessity but rather a passion in which you can follow without idolatry and show that love of God in your actions.

In the end, I remembered a sermon that was given. God so loved the world He gave up his only son. You know the verse. Well, it states plainly, God SO LOVED THE WORLD. He didn't regect the world compeletly, he didn't ignore the things of the world, he didn't say it was all bad. no, he LOVED the world. why do we try so hard to reject the things of this world rather than seek to see why we have passions for things in this world and see how those passions can then glorify God? Yes, there are bad worldly things, yes there are ways we can take our pursuit for God outside this world too far.

I love fashion, i love music, i love dancing. Yes, i go clubbing, yes, i wear random fur coats, yes, i love getting dressed up. Yes, i can serve people who would not be reached otherwise, in being at those places with an open heart and a steadfast spirit guiding my choices.

I should be writing a paper. This was just a testimony that was on my mind.

au revoir,

i am simply vee

tremble, meditate, be still, trust in God.

Hello Loves,

I'm back in Berlin! Greetings to you. this picture was from this past summer. a dear friend named anthony recently purchased this adorable red scooter so we took it for a spin. i am really excited to be back here in a region that has become somewhat familiar. i have been hoping from city to city and even a week of stability has become my recognition and terms for deeming a city to be familiar. it is rather quite odd seeing as my familiar city previous to this trip was the same for 19 years. that was familiar.

I went to an underground speakeasy last night. as you may or may not know speakeasy's was the name given to the underground bars selling alcohol when alcohol was made illegal. berlin was always said to have such a hip underground scene but i couldn't really tell from the modernized city. trendy city scape has definitely modernized not only here. Well the sweetest man named gabriel, the uttermost lovable tour guide known to man, invited us into his life and let me tell you i love it.

berlin has a rare but genuine find for graffiti lovers. i walked into a room small enough to be a small children's bedroom and found berlin's greatest. sitting on the floor drinking beers and smoking and genuinely talking amongst one another, i felt so at peace and finally at home. the subculture (and in subculture i only refer to their love and need to keep it below even the urban culture and create an entirely divided subculture) had its own safe haven. it is re decorated every two months or so and open only once or twice a week. it has its own website, but you won't find an address on it. unless you know exactly where it is and know someone to get you in. thus, making it a speakeasy.

everyone was dressed above par in terms of fashion and ability to show individuality without the need for urban outfitters outfits being predestined for you on a mannequin. the ability to truly show individuality was amazing and completely located in a central shared space no bigger than your little sisters play room. local and underground musicians play sometimes and tuesday night there is another show. i absolutely am coming to terms with the talents and love for people and places that God has put in my line of focus and calling in my heart. i hope to see you there.

i am,
simply vee.

i miss.

Hello loves,

My dears, it has been so long since i have written anything. Well, currently i am in Berlin, Germany in my very own apartment having the first opportunity to write and write an update on my life. I have had a lot of time traveling and being extremely busy with school on the way. I originally thought that the time i had to myself would be wasted time that i could use to explore the city beside a dozen close friends. i realize now how wrong that mentality was.

I have had no real time to myself. I constantly share a room with different friends, am surrounded by classmates, or find myself having to go off to a coffee shop to unwind, thus being surrounded by people i don't know.

I've been to England, Ireland, The Netherlands, Belgium, France, and Germany so far. I leave to Poland on tuesday. I've been slowly learning bits and pieces of multiple languages. i can speak a little french, german, italian, and all i can say is that there is no place like home. i love the beauty of europe, but i love my cozy little house back home. I am having friends over tonight for chai tea latte milkshakes. Then we are all heading over to a cafe night. I hope home is well.

I'm really trying to be content with being present with where i am at and not just looking for the next thing or looking too much ahead of myself. I need to be content to fully enjoy myself. I am not really ever online because of this. I will post all pictures of my trip after i come home. until then. I have posted a few that remind me of home and the friendships that i feel secure in.





i am
simply vee

toute la gloire à votre nom

this is all i can come to. pictures of feet or shoes have been a current obsession of mine lately and i didn't necessarily have any clue as to why this was so until today. writing about friendships and feeling so let down today by people really awoken a pull God has been tugging on for a long time. He was calling me back to him in so many different ways and I was not having any of it. 

i have been finding my worth in people. putting pressure on friends and family to be exactly what and who i need. but God is saying that i need to come to him and this foot picture fetish was another way he was telling me. I was taking so many pictures like these, but he was telling me this is what i should be looking at to find my worth. HIS FEET. i needed to lay down everything. every expectation, every doubt, every sin, every thought and come to his feet as He prepared the way for everything. 

i spent a really hard summer with God and didn't listen even though i knew he was. for the first time i came to His feet today and felt satisfied at the complicated mess i got myself into knowing God had already pulled me out by his son Jesus. are you here? 

i am simply vee.

nous tous juste temps du besoin

fellowship as a child never really comes to complete terms with itself. there are no limits, excuses, or certain expectations for deeming someone worthy of your friendship. if they are there and present they are all we need. the twisted part is that nothing has changed with age, we just create stupid divisions within ourselves. whether i was 6, 13, or 19, my closest friends have been those who are present and there for me, at all times. it is simple. be present. be here. and we will share in a beautiful friendship that only we could possibly understand enough to fully enjoy. i have only really met five friends who did that for me. they were always fully present. no texting other people while i was talking to them, no answering calls, no lists of to do's running through their heads. their time was my time and my time was fully their time. i have had enough of friends telling me how thankful they are of me when i help them see how great they are or help them when they need someone and they are alone. no. friendship shouldn't be conditional. it never has been and it won't be now that i'm 19 or in 4o years when i'm 59. no. friendship has NEVER been conditional to me. love me as i want to love you. 

Angela C., Becky R., Kat K., Gregory W., and especially Elena Yvette Brown. 

thank you for chasing every gray cloud away.

compte vers le bas

bonjour, 

as the days grow closer until i leave for my trip to europe, i find myself completely fascinated with all and anything european. i hope you enjoy. 

great parisian movements in modern art including the Chanel logo above. 

luxury in paris is only a beginning. 

any suggestions about where to go?

riveting. you'll find everything from art, fashion, news, decor. most diverse website i've seen in a while. 

i absolutely adore this french folk singer.

keeping up with Britain.

the Mafia's place in Italy.

I will be going to 10 different european countries and living in 6. i leave in 7 days. but until then, i'll be in solvang tomorrow with some dear friends and my boyfriend. enjoy the night.

i am simply vee.

parfois nous avons besoin de bruit pour nous placer libres

1. angel in the snow_elliot smith

2. love and some verses_iron & wine

3. eyes_rogue wave

4. the end of the affair_sara reynolds

5. strawberry waltz_meg & dia

6. for the best_straylight run

7. waiting for a safe sign_nurses

8. healer_hillsong live

i am simply vee